Chambersburg, PA

Recently a dear friend of mine (Thanks Michele) got me to thinking about how it “must be bitter sweet” to visit a place I had once lived. And it was. For so many reasons.

I recently headed back to Chambersburg, PA to settle Caitlin in her new place as she will be attending school there. The first time we lived here was in 1981 through 1984, and we often referred to this time as “being sentenced in hell.” We were young, recently married, and did not like being transplanted from NJ to the quiet country side where everything closed after 6pm. (Except a few random dive bars and the VFW). We made friends that have lasted a long time, but even they hated it, so we all hung out in misery together.

The first home Jim and I lived in was set on a hill right on the Appalachian Mountains. You could not have asked for a more magnificent view. The animals (deer, wild turkey, and the occasional bear) were in abundance and kept us intrigued. Yet still we felt like we were living in hell. Just how many animals does it take to keep our attention? Apparently not many. We tired of them too after a while.

We then moved closer to town, and subsequently had Caitlin. NOW that was the one good thing that we experienced while living there. Jim got orders for Germany and we could finally leave this hell hole of a place. YAY!

In 1999, we once again found ourselves transplanted right back into Chambersburg. The government had moved us from NJ to OK and because my dad was terminally ill, we got what Uncle Sam referred to as a “Compassionate Reassignment” and “Oh by the way, we will be reducing your pay as we really do not need that grade level here, but we will consider taking you.” We had no choice and I needed, we all needed, to be closer to home. To my dad.

With the good comes the bad and we really struggled financially to the point that I was making costumes almost around the clock to keep food on the table and the bills paid. Jim and I discovered the world of eBay and we were off and running. Each and every weekend we would do garage sales to find things I could use for costumes (yes costume makings and trims were out there) and we even bought and resold items we knew would bring in the cash cow. (No pun intended) YAY for eBay!!

Times were tough but we got through them and during this time period we stuck together as a family, getting each other through the hard times, the death of my dad, and even living in Chambersburg. In 2001, we left to head back to NJ (Jim finally out of the government) and we could not wait. YAY! Out of the cornfields and away from the ongoing daily smell of manure. No more stupid Wal-Mart only.

It was years later though they we all came to realize that this simple existence we all lived in for three years was not so bad after all. We had very few choices and lived in a tiny (The locals called the development we lived in “Smurfville” as the house were so tiny) house that was easily managed (Thanks to my sewing talents and eBay) and even got out more to enjoy the countryside. Even the animals we encountered took on new meaning. The trails we hiked were more fun, but not quite NJ.

The point is, that sometimes we put on the blinders and muster up all the negativity without good reason and later regret those choices. I wish I had enjoyed Chambersburg more the first time around. I wish I had enjoyed it more the second time. Now I yearn for those quite country roads, that God awful smell of manure, and having simpler choices to make. If I could move tomorrow, I would. Right back to Chambersburg.

Enjoy what you have. Enjoy each minute of your existence as best you can. We have to find the good in things, even when times are tough. I know I have.

My Empty Nest

I’m sitting in the middle of an empty nest. I like it. I hate it.

The kids are once again gone; Daniel back to his new place in Rhode Island (and school), and Caitlin now settled in her new home in Chambersburg, PA, where she will be attending school. Her leaving is bittersweet. I am thrilled that she is back in school and still in pursuit of her life dream of becoming a Veterinarian, yet her room is empty, with not many traces that she even lived here. (Of course, I can still see and feel her presence). The empty pink rooms (she had two of them) are clean and empty (one does have a bed for her visits).

Her leaving this time is so different than when she went off to school, as I know that there is the chance she may never return to the nest. I am not sure about Daniel, as I am not sure what his future holds after he finishes school. I know he loves where he lives and is happy and thriving.
I am enjoying the quiet and I imagine the mother Robin feels the same after she has raised her little ones. I cannot imagine sitting on the eggs and ensuring they thrive is an easy task. What does she feel as the last little one goes off on their own?

Like the mother Robin, I will continue to be there for both my kids, and I know they know that I am not too far from them if and when they need me.

Happy New Year!

The holidays are just about over and the time has come to pack away the decorations, a daunting task each year. I really enjoyed them this year, and never once felt like it was a monumental task to get them out and up. I think getting them out early allowed me to really enjoy them for a longer period of time, and now that it is time to put them away, I feel ready. It has not been that way for me other years and at times has felt like a burden. In some respects I envy my sister who puts out a few menorahs and calls it a day.

This was the first holiday in a while that I never felt rushed to get things done. I did those holiday tasks early and got help (cookie baking). I got through the holidays feeling less exhausted, thus enjoying them more. I also think that because school was over, no matter how many tasks I had before me, I had a huge boulder taken off of my shoulders. YAY! (again).

I’m excited about 2010. I have a new role, a new degree, and new challenges. I’m ready.

Addictions

About two months ago, or even less, but not much less, I got started playing a game through Facebook called Farmville. I watched my daughter for a few weeks race to her laptop each am and then again after work, and originallythought she was dedicated to school stuff. However, one day I asked her what she was doing with so much enthusiasm and focus. Her reply, "Harvesting my crops." Huh?

So it was with my usual curiosity that I began to investigate and soon found myself a virtual farmer. My farm was slow to evolve, but with the help of my farm neighbors, I was soon gifted with all kinds of tress andanimals, and my farm was soon thriving and keeping me quite busy. I harvest and plant crops, gather feathers, milk cows, and collect eggs, and with each task I am rewarded coins and the occasional bonus. It's quite addicting, but with close family and friends playing along, loads of fun. Of course, the competative side keeps me working hard to level up to others, and with much determination, I am right beside those I wish to compete with as we play. It's also nice to spend time online with dear friends, and my family tat does not live nearby.

It is a nice change for me to be here to write my blog and to play virtual games without having to worry about posting an assignment or write/research a paper. Perhaps its not Farmville that is the addiction, but the pleasure of being in a virtual community without having to be in a virtual community. I'd write more, but I have to harvest.

Understanding Hemingway

I just found out that my brother does not understand and doesn’t “get” Ernest Hemingway. He recently took one of his books (and for the life of me I cannot remember which one it was right now) out hunting with him and read while waiting for deer to pass by. What better time to read Hemingway? The man loved the sport of hunting (bullfighting and fishing) and often wrote about it. His writing is to the point and memorable. His characters raw, real, and people we can relate to, people we know. Ernest Hemingway is a master of dialogue. It's not so much that he is recreating precisely how individuals speak, but through his brilliant use of repetition, he is able to make the reader remember what has been said.

I don’t get it. Perhaps he needs to try again. My brother, not Hemingway.

Holiday Magic!

There is something magical about New York City during the holidays and the closer one gets to Christmas, the more magical it becomes. We went to the city yesterday with an impending storm creeping up the coast, yet the whole time we were there, not one single flake of snow was seen, until it was time to go. Despite the cold (which in my opinion only adds to the atmosphere), our inner spirits were warmed with the sights and sounds of the holidays. The Rockefeller tree is always beautiful, but when you stand beside it, it seems even more magnificent and even more gorgeous. Because of the impending storm there were not as many people, so no pushing or shoving had to be done in order to move one step forward. It was a perfect day to be there.

We also went to see Wicked a play I have been waiting so long to see. I loved it! I loved the book so the play had to be good. I was not disappointed. We hit a local deli (they are all so good in the city) and despite Caitlin not getting what she ordered, the rest of us had a great lunch (I know such trivial information but when you are in the city each experience adds to the day).

We took the train and when we got back to our car we had to do a little bit of digging the car out and then heading down the garden state parkway proved interesting as well (not yet plowed). We made it home (obviously) safe and sound and I have added one more day to my bank of special memories.

I love the holidays!

Time

I have more of it and once again I am back to writing my blog. I have spent far too much time away from it and I have missed being able to sit and think and write about anything other than scholarly papers for school. I also have had people ask "Where are you? Where is that blog?" So here I am.

What's new?

Done. I am officially done with school. For now. I need time to chill and enjoy my accomplishments before thinking about doing more. I have ideas floating around in my head, but for now, they are merely tiny little thoughts. I start as adjunct faculty for Seton Hall University as a clinical nursing educator and I am beyond thrilled and cannot wait to face this challenge. It's been one hell of ride to get here, but I have and with a 4.0 GPA. Not bad for an older person.

Work. The new gig as nursing educator is going. I like it. I like the challenge and I work with an incredible team of nurses. What's not to like.

Home. All is well. Thank God.

Family. Ditto.

Family Reunion Time!

It happens once a year…the little leaves and acorns gather, descendents of larger branches and firm roots. I love seeing family I don’t get to see all the time. Although thanks to Facebook, I have been able to maintain better contact with some. And I love that.

We meet each year out at my brother’s farm, which is not that far from where our descendents hail from. Talk about returning to your roots. There are two older family members who do not come all the time, but when they do, they share a tremendous amount of family lore. We have tons of stories to share, and those who come always seem to have a good time.

Families are so important. I am glad I am in the one I am in. Even if the tree has a few nuts on it….that’s what makes us fun.

OY Vey!

Time flies when you are having fun! I am still here and hope to get blogging again and soon.

The Poop Deck

My deck is just as important as my front porch. It is an extension of my home, a part of who I am, and a place I like spending time on. In all kinds of weather, well almost.The deck was added to our home shortly after we moved in, as a necessity. There was simply no place to wash 8 large paws (we had only two dogs at the time, and I have no idea how that number grew to four) that were caked with wet dirt (also known as mud) before said paws came into the house. Therefore, in an effort to make me happy, the deck was designed and built.

This would not be the first deck built by my family, nor the last. So after assembling my siblings and their tools, the deck was completed in two weekends. After waiting a specified amount of time (I did however fudge the numbers, the number of hours we had to wait for the wood to do something, before we could stain it), the deck was stained and prepared for the rough winter that lie ahead.

Now the color of the deck is an interesting brown, which complements the siding of our home. The neighbors that used to live to the left, referred to it as a "poopy brown" color. We referred to them as idiots that lack class and an eye for color. The same color adorns an arbor my husband made for me, and our little shed in the back of the yard. It works well. I believe. I think Martha might even be proud. (Stewart)

The deck is a decent size; 24 by 16. Not too big, not too small, just right. I have tables and comfortable chairs for anyone to rest in when they stop for a visit. I even have a huge swing that grabs hold of you and will not let go. Of course, I have flowers and plants that add a splash of color, which is obviously needed according to the neighbors that used to live to the left. It has has a warm feeling.

I love it best early in the morning when the area is quiet and the birds are singing their best. It's peaceful. It's relaxing. It's who I am. Poopy color and all.

It's Time

It is that time of year, when the birds return from the warmth of the south to nest, feed, and do what birds do. If you know me at all, or have paid attention to my blog, you know I love my humming birds. I wait and watch for them to return to my feeders each spring.

The birds have their migratory patterns, and I have my maps. I have several friends and family who love the birds as well. We call out to each other letting each other know when we have sighted the birds. I know that if my friends to the north have seen them, then I had better get my feeders out. If I see the birds, I call my friends to the south and let them know. Like the birds, we look out for each other. It’s the way it should be.

Where's the Justice?

In all my years as an OB nurse, I have seen so many wonderful births, making my job one of the best out there. Yet there are times I think to myself, this job sucks, and it has nothing to do with the workload.

It's about the patient who waits years (15 in this case) to have a baby, and when it happens, the baby is sick and needs so much in the first few hours of birth. It doesn't seem fair. It doesn't seem right. I also question the judgment of the decisions made before this baby was born. No one is perfect, but did you make the right decision? I don't think so, and now this mom is hurting and is afraid, and her beautiful baby gets a crappy start.