The History of American Nursing: Part One

I love this class! Oh sure it is a ton of writing, and reading, and posting things to the online classroom, but I do really do like what I am learning! Who knew there was more to my professional nursing history than just Florence (my idol) Nightingale, Clara Barton, Dorthea Dix, and everyone’s favorite girl, Cherry Ames! The myths of history are being whacked at one by one. I had no idea that male nurses go way back, I mean way back! And male midwives existed before females midwives really got started!

My mentor is a lovely woman from Washington State and the only one who ever even bothered to encourage phone calls to her!! It’s nice placing a voice to a person to a name! (If you get my drift).

My class essay or research project (so to speak) will focus on how home births went to hospital births and what impact this change made on early American nursing school curriculums. I know, dry for some, but I am finding the preliminary stuff kind of neat to read about. So that’s where I am at, for now. In case you were dying to know. =)

Taking The Right Course in Life

I am very proud to announce that my son, Daniel, has been accepted to Johnson and Wales University, in their culinary program. He has been stuck in the culinary world at a point at which he feels he cannot progress unless he has the next leg of his academic journey completed. (Unless a world renowned chef calls him and asks him to come and work for him, but what are the chances of that happening?) So, he’s got the offer of acceptance, now we just have to hope they can help him with the funds. And hope that this is the right school at this time in his life. There are other schools, thankfully.

I think a lot of his motivation in attending this school is in part because his best friend Kelly attended there, and still attends there. And, despite how things have gone in their relationship, I do thank Kelly for encouraging him and motivating him. Sometimes, parents are not able to get this accomplished, no matter how we lay life out in front of our kids. So thanks Kelly. Whatever the motivating factor is, I hope he can attend a school that meets his needs, settles in, and then kicks butt in the academic program. I hope, I pray.

In the mean time, he is working. And hopefully making the right decisions about all aspects of his life. Mostly about his future in the culinary world.

The Joys of an Early Summer Evening

“When life hands us a beautiful bouquet we stare at it in cautious expectations of a bee.” ~ Dean Kootz

This is also true when I am out trimming my beautiful butterfly bush. As I work to cut away the dead blooms, so the newer ones can be show cased, I am forever dodging the bees. Lots of bees. However, on this particular evening, I found myself enjoying the visitor who came to suckle on my blooms. But even after a Google search, I am not so sure I know what the visitor is; bee or hummingbird bee? It was huge, and if you watch the video below, perhaps you can see why I believe it to be more than the average bee type.

The point here is though, that despite my hectic life, I found myself fascinated and literally glued to watching this thing for quite some time. It darted from bloom to bloom, sitting long enough to take in the sweet drink from each pretty flower. If it had time to enjoy the sweetness of an early summer evening, so did I. And I am glad I did.

Phantom of The Opera!!

Caitlin and I were lucky enough this last Wednesday to be invited by one of my workmates to see a Broadway play. The leading role, the Phantom, was being played by the son of one the obstetricians that used to work where I do, John Cudia. What an awesome play, what an awesome group of voices, and what a wonderful time we had! After the show, we were invited to go back stage where we spent time with John. What a cutie! And his voice. See for yourself, watch the youtube video I have added to this post.

We then headed to John’s Pizza Place across the street from the theater, where they “Do not serve slices” which was fine since I had no interest in pizza. Our meal was great! The day in the city is like all days in the city...fun, interesting, and memorable.

Happy 4th of July!

I am knee deep in school work (hip deep this am), so this is going to be a simple, and to the point posting. (see the title)

School Days...Vacation is Over

As many of you know, I have been working on my Masters in Nursing for a while, and as of tomorrow, I am back at it again. I took a break (well deserved), and then another break, and now I have to get back on the horse and get it done. While I am looking forward to obtaining this long sought out goal, I truly dread taking the classes to get there. My head wants to rest. It does not want to think about writing long papers and organizing references. I’m feeling old and tired, and really just want to spend time reading novels and not text books, but...

I’m grateful I have the support system I do at home. Jim is done with his Masters (YIPEEEE!!), but is a constant source of “Go Wendy Go!” for me. As are the kids. It helps knowing I have that support. It’s motivating (and at my age, some days, I need it).

So if it seems time lags between my blog posts, it’s no doubt because I am hard at work doing school requirements (The History of American Nursing) and will, when time allows, share what’s going on with me when I can. So keep checking back, and often!

My Life For Sale?

I recently read where an Australian citizen is selling his life through eBay. Is there anything you cannot sell on eBay? Apparently he has been jilted by his wife of 5 years (in a relationship with her for 12) and now he feels he has to give it all up as everything is a constant reminder of her and his life with her. (I would think a pill and some therapy might work, but what do I know?)

Anyway, it got me to thinking if I were to sell my life and all of its contents, what would I sell it for and who would even consider buying it? It does make you think. Of course, I have this problem of having 2 children, a husband, and four dogs, or could I simply throw them all in the mix? And where would I go once the final deal was made? I mean, I certainly have joked about selling them all and moving, but I still need a buyer. And I really should decide what I really want to take me when I go.

So IF I were to sell everything, I would imagine the list might look something like this:
First of all the buyer would have to live in New Jersey. Now that being said, I would have to summarize the good things about living in NJ. That alone might jeopardize the whole sale. I mean the taxes alone would be like selling a box of rocks.

Then there’s the house. It’s new and in great condition. No issues there, except that it is on a busy street and there’s the tiny issue of the house next door that is now housing old people, crazy old people. BUT we do have that new fence that keeps them OVER there. (Remember that blog?) And if the dogs are included, which they would be, the buyer would have to maintain the grass and all the shrubs in the back which is like having a nagging toothache constantly. Seriously.

As for the contents, those that I are mine; the list would be long enough to peak some interest in a potential buyer. First of all, there’s the whole content of my arts and crafts room. That might be fun for someone who likes to sew and glue and paste and color and scrapbook. I’ll even throw in the bazillion buckets and bins of material I have collected over the past 25 years. BUT the buyer would have to weed through a ton of stuff that might take up way too much of their life. I do have many collectables, none of which have any real value except the sentimental kind, which a buyer could eventually come to use for themselves. There’s some potential.

I have a BIG closet of clothes, all size 14, and all seasons covered. (I would have to take a few things, but the buyer and I could haggle that out, if need be). I am partial to my handbags, and I do own a few Coach bags, so that alone might be a place to think about a bid. The purchase would include my lap top and my iPod which is loaded with great tunes. I’m also throwing in my camera, and my cell phone (my friends are all in there and THREE important ICE (in case of emergency) contacts, so if the buyer is involved in an emergency, three competent people would be at their side to help them). I have a library full of incredible books. No one else here reads, so you are bidding on a huge amount of books! Quite honestly, this might be one of the highlights of the purchase. No kidding.

The job. Now if you are an L&D nurse, this might work out for you. I would imagine if your background is like mine, you might just slip into my job slot. (I haven’t yet asked the boss if she would be willing to replace the winner of my life with my job). It’s not a bad gig. Although there have been some cut backs (like everywhere), so this might not be an option for someone who is REALLy interested in working two days a week, 12 hour shifts, caring for screaming women.

Ok, now then the husband. He’s a great guy and makes a great salary, so you would not have to worry about financial security, although he might prefer someone who helps bring home a few dollars. I cannot list his bad habits, BUT if the buyer is serious enough, and makes a serious BID; I will fill them in ahead of time. (Hey, someone out there may not care about all the hair...) Sorry no take backs once you purchase my life.

Then there are the kids. Both are still doing the school (college) thing, so you might really think about that before placing that final bid. Good kids, but these day, kids = dollars. Even adult kids are struggling and need help now and then.

My siblings. Two GREAT sisters, so this is a bonus. I have two brothers and one has a boat! (I see fishing in your life if you are the winner). Family get -to - gethers are an added bonus. IF you are not a family person, please do not bid. I mean, that is IF you are looking for a Brady Bunch type family. If not, you might love this life of mine. Kooky family and all.

The mother. As the oldest, and as the one who knows all about medical stuff (so my siblings keep telling me, which really is a crock of bull since I only deal with women and their “v-jay-jays”) I am responsible for ensuring the medical health of my mom. So this means appts, appts, and more appts, and then educating her as to what to take and what not to take together. She is up there in age and can be demanding. (I might clean out the craft area if you bid knowing this fact).

The dogs. Might be the perfect lot for the “dog lover.” Imagine your life with FOUR BIG dogs! Wooo, hooo! Bid, bid, bid! This however would include taking one of them to the library four times a month as she works as a therapy dog. This non-negotiable. They are high maintenance dogs with all the hair, baths, pooping, etc. Remember BIG dogs eat big. (I bet I just scared off several bidders with that one).

My friends. I have a handful of incredibly wonderful freinds, and while I will share them I will not give them up. So you must be willing to share, and share nicely.

That's my life in a nutshell, cracked as it is. It seems the life for sale in Australia might be a better thing to bid on if you like all that excitement and travel. But if you are comfortable picking up after one man, two kids, and four BIG dogs, and hauling an old lady around every now and then, then perhaps my life might just be what you are looking for after all. Happy bidding!

Saving Gas = Having Fun

Like everyone else across the nation, and around the world, we are feeling the pains of higher gas prices. They stink (I could use a stronger adjective, but stink covers it as well). I no longer just “jump in the Jeep to run an errand”, but stratagize each errand and then each route in getting them done. We have no choice. Jim and I always car pool; that is he takes me to work when I work the longer shifts and then swings by and picks me back up after he is done at his job. This saves.

With the prices going higher and higher, it was now time to drag out Jim’s motorcycle and get it back on the road. So with a little bit of maintenance, and two brand new helmets purchased, he is now using it to run errands in town, and take both kids to work (they both work in town). It helps and the kids enjoy dad taking them to work on the back of his bike. I, too, enjoy the occasional ride into town to get a bag of groceries. If “going into town” was closer, we could hoof it, but...

Change is never easy, but this one comes with a little bit of fun. So the change has been easy to do and in the long run, helping to maintain the costs of getting around and getting things done. And we like that. Now if we could tackle the soaring food prices this easy.

Baby Robins and Gypsy Caterpillars

The park we love to walk is being destroyed. Well, the trees that grace it and provide us walking shade are literally dying before our eyes by the gypsy caterpillars. As we walk, we squish and kill all we can, but there are only so many we can get to and obliterate. I am glad that Jim was able to spray our trees, so perhaps they have a chance. It’s really been an ongoing struggle for many areas here in NJ, as it is in other states. It’s just in the last two years here that we are really seeing the trees die off and it is quite sad. The Pine Barrens, while predominantly pines, are also slowly dying as it was graced with many oaks. The next step is to lure the moths into traps, and Jim has strategically placed the traps around the yard, so we are doing what we can here to control the destruction. We hope.

Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. (Left to various interpretations, however I see ‘meek’ as helpless tiny things).

Now onto the baby birds. We have this silly Robin that insists each year on nesting in our arbor. Now while it is a great place to nest (the rain has little chance of getting to her nest, as do any other creatures, and the height is perfect), what concerns us is that on the day it is time to push the little ones out of the nest, she does so with a pack of Goldens hanging around. And this pack is smart and can hear the peeping going on in the yard. Last year we did not rescue the birds in time. =( this year we were one step ahead of the mother. We knew (how I did not know) that the day had come to teach them to fly. So we watched and as each little guy or gal fell down to the ground, we shooed them out past the fence and out of harm’s way. After all, they are ‘bird dogs’ and do not intend to hurt the birds, but the simple soft mouthing of them has not proved to be safe. Thankfully, the nest is empty, and the four little birds have moved out of the yard and on to safer ground.

“For the birds that cannot soar, God has provided low branches.”
~ Turkish Proverb

Summer and Tim Russert

Good grief, where does time go! Summer is here and we (I) have been busy out in the yard, and just sitting and relaxing on my deck (my favorite place on the planet, next to my bed). School is out around here, so the place is quiet and peaceful!

Jim and I spent time sodding (placing sod) the bare areas of the backyard. So far, they have taken and no one has dragged the live green carpets away (I speak of my four-legged yard maintenance crew), so I am happy. The results look great and we did NOT spend fortune (Thank You Home Depot) for the sod pieces. I also planted a few tiny evergreen-like trees in front of the shed, and so far no one objects to them. They are still there. (Yes, I again speak of the lawn maintenance crew). My yard is plush and green, thanks to all the rain and humid weather. So the view from my deck is enjoyable. (Truthfully, my deck would be enjoyable without a view).

I am sad this week because of the sudden death of Tim Russert. I, like many, truly found him a wonderful person, and have got to add that he had the ability to help me understand the intricate business of politics. “Meet the Press” was one of my favorite news shows, and if you know me, you know I am a news junkie, so my choice is important to where I get my news. In this riveting political year, he had the know-how in getting to the bottom of the issues with those who knew the issues. God bless you Tim! I will miss you terribly.


I have also been busy with my mom, helping her out (doctor’s appts) and then work has had me busy as well. I’m here, I’m good, as is the rest of my family...just involved in life and summer. Stay tuned for more from me....throughout the summer.

Online Friendships

"Constantly look for a new friend, a truly first-class person, one who has the courage to criticize, to demand your best self, a person who has different interests and different beliefs from yours, a friend for whom you can render a constructive service. Devote energy toward making such friends. Retain them, never let them go, and continue making new friends until you die." This quotation comes from William Terhune, a noted psychiatrist and founding professor of the psychiatric department at Yale University. (Bet you are wondering if Bill and I were friends?) This quote should be followed by all people.

I have many friends who meet the expectations of this quotation. I love them, and will cherish their friendships for as long as we live. I have friends from my childhood school days, college days, old jobs, my military days (ok, I wasn’t IN the military, but I did work and live among them), and from simply moving around the country because of Jim’s job. I have friends online and offline. Over the years I have gained many new friends, thank to the power of the internet.

There are those who debate the value of online friendships, believing them to be phony, or a waste of time. Someone who is not online on a regular basis, or at all, has a hard time understanding a friendship formed on the Internet. Ask a member of an online cancer support chat room about online friendships. Many would report they would be lost without their online friends who provide them with hours of support. Ask a nurse who is struggling through an online class how important an online nurse friendship might be (I have many good nurse friends from classes).

One of the friendships I treasure is my friend Michele who I met online years ago in a writer’s forum. We chatted about various things through the forum, and then eventually through emails, and until this day to have an incredible friendship. We met, we talked, and then I suddenly realized I had met someone who has the same sense of humor, the same values, and some of the same interests that I do (I know she feels the same about me)!

Michele is as real as my offline friends. Real friendship is about support, sharing, laughter, and loyalty. Michele is this and more. We have been friends for a long time. IF my memory is right it has been 8 years. She lives out west, not where cowboys live, but far from NJ! Her emails always seem to come at a time when I need to laugh. Her writing of her life’s adventures ALWAYS makes me chuckle, and not at her, but with her! She is truly a treasure of technology. Thanks Michele for being my friend.

Happy Father's Day Daddy!

Those who have read my blog are aware that I lost my dad years ago. With Father’s Day tomorrow, my thoughts are, of course, of my dad.

There are days that we celebrate simply because it helps the card and flower businesses thrive, and Father’s Day is no exception. I have long been a proponent that we should celebrate these days every day, and not simply one day a year. (Being a mom, it is my belief that every day is Mother’s Day). Life is short and we just never know when we won’t be around or those we love won’t be here to celebrate these special days.

I miss my dad. While I know these words are simple to express, they are heartfelt, and I know I speak for my siblings as well. I think we would all love one more hug, see one more of his smiles, and even hear one more of his grouchy outbursts. I’d even love to taste one more dish of his spaghetti. (His sauce was outstanding).

I miss my dad for so many reasons. I often think of him and say to myself, “he would like that show... he might like this dish I made... he would love to have seen his grandchildren do this or that...and he would love to sit on my deck and enjoy life”. My dad lived a hard live as a kid. In fact, he was an abused kid and how he survived still makes me wonder today, but he did. He served in our Navy, married, and worked as a policeman, a postman, a florist, a butcher (deli), and various other odd jobs, to keep busy and to keep five kids fed and clothed. To some he might not have been the “model” father, and it has only been in my adult life that I have come to understand the man he had grown to become. He did his best. He loved us all in his own way, and being able to love did not come easy to him. I know that now, as do my siblings.

So this Father’s Day, like many to come, I will celebrate my dad through my own memories of him. I loved my dad and I miss him terribly.

When Someone We Love is Hurting

When someone we love deeply is hurting, be it a friend or family member, it’s not so easy, at times, to find the right words, or even the right approach in helping them. Even if we believe our insights or valuable advice might help them, the task can be daunting. There are no rules to follow in helping someone, except you use your heart and let it guide you. You also have to have the ability to listen and be nonjudgmental. Perhaps not always easy, but necessary. (The nonjudgmental stuff)

I strongly believe that we have to reach out with unconditional love. A hurting person may display intense emotions—tears, anger, bitterness, frustration, or sarcasm. We may feel tempted to withdraw from such emotional displays, but we need to draw near to the person who is in pain. Especially when it is someone we love dearly and want to hold in our hearts.

I believe we have to understand, rather than fix the hurting person’s feelings. We may mean well when we try to persuade a hurting person to "cheer up," but suffering is often an integral ingredient of life’s experience. We must acknowledge a person's pain, not try to put an emotional bandage over it. THIS is not so easy for a mom to do. I struggle with this all the time.

I believe we have to find specific ways to be supportive. People who are hurting often struggle in asking for help or guidance. The smallest expressions of love and demonstrations of caring can mean a great deal to some who is hurting. There's an old expression: "If we don't demonstrate our love, it doesn't do anyone any good." Hurting people need expressions of love they can see and feel.

I believe that when we share our own struggles with others, we demonstrate the ability to be open and the ability to communicate things we might struggle to share. I've found those that are hurting benefit tremendously when they can talk with someone who's transparent about their own struggles. Such honesty breaks down the barriers of isolation that suffering often erects. Loving someone is easy. Watching them hurting is not easy. Sharing with them is not always so easy. Being able to help them when they are troubled uses both love and the ability to share openly feelings we might otherwise keep to ourselves. No one wants to see someone they love hurting. Especially when you are a mom.

My Favorite Tomato

When I was a kid growing up, my dad and mom had a huge vegetable garden. It started out small, but after many years, and the need to feed five growing kids, the garden took on more space and got more prolific with its bounty. We had all kinds of food growing in the garden; things from simple lettuce to huge quantities of tomatoes. The garden was really looked after by all of us (we kids had the task of weeding), and mom and dad organized and then did the canning or freezing of all that grew there. However, for some reason, when I think of that garden, I tend to think of it as my dad’s garden. I have no idea why, except maybe he spent the most time, there, constantly ensuring things were appropriately taken care of; weeded well, watered well, and plants tied up to ensure no rot would occur. He was a master gardener, as defined by many dictionaries, he “was one who exhibits style, skill, ability or other characteristics of gardening” and he did, and well.

My dad was known for his tomatoes, and he would share with many neighbors and friends. It wasn’t unusual to see him out there with a small brown bag collecting veggies for a friend. His tomatoes were what New Jersey tomatoes are known for...BIG, red, fleshy, sweet, and juicy tomatoes! When I moved to Germany, this was one of the things I knew I would miss, but because my dad was who he was, I got my tomatoes via the US Postal Service, neatly packed as if they were fragile pieces of glass. Home never tasted so good! My German neighbors could not believe I got tomatoes mailed to me, until they tasted them, and they, too, fell in love with the taste of them.

With the bad press tomatoes have gotten lately (and rightly so), I have had the chance to think back and remember my dad’s delicious tomatoes. The FDA has proclaimed the Jersey Tomatoes safe to eat, (and salmonella free), but if they had tasted my dad’s tomatoes, they would not only claim them safe, but deliciously irresistible! I have always grown tomatoes in my garden, but I have yet to perfect the perfect tomato, but then I am not a master gardener. I also think it’s more than the tomato I miss. I miss that gardener too.

Heavenly Treat

It's been a while since I have shared a recipe of any kind, and after baking these oh so delicious morsels, I had to share this one with you (even if you despise Martha, these are worth your time). Don't they look yummy? Add one tall glass of cold milk, and you might think you are in heaven! Enjoy!

Double Chocolate Coconut Cookies, from Martha Stewart's Cookie Cookbook

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1/4 cup unsweetened Dutch process cocoa powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
2 cups white-chocolate chunks (~9 oz,)
1 3/4 cups sweetened flaked coconut
1 3/4 coarsely chopped walnuts (~6 oz.)

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Cream butter and sugar until smooth, about 2 minutes. Mix in eggs, one at a time. Stir in vanilla.
2. Sift flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl. Mix into butter until well combined. Stir in chocolate, coconut and walnuts.
3. Using a 1 1/2 inch ice-cream scoop (or if you don't have one, like me, use a heaping teaspoon per cookie), drop batter onto sheets lined with parchment paper. Space 2 inches apart. Flatten slightly, then cook for 10-12 minutes or until set. Let cool on sheets on wire racks for 2 minutes. Transfer cookies on parchment paper to wire racks to cool completely. Can be stored in airtight containers at room temperature for up to 1 week. Yields approximately 5 dozen cookies.

The Social Mentality of Geese

After seeing a story in the news in which an old man was run over by a car (hit and run) and no one, NO ONE stopped to help him, I am further convinced we are living in a very ME, ME, ME world. What the hell has happened to our moral compasses? Why have we stopped looking after one another? Personally, I cannot even imagine NOT stopping to help someone in need, no matter the circumstances. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I am a professional nurse.

I often think about how a flock of geese works together and wonder why we cannot all be like a flock of geese. There's power in a gaggle of geese that you just don't find in a lone goose. For example:

Fact: As each goose flaps its wings, it creates lift for the bird following. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if one goose flew alone.
Lesson: Those who share a common direction and sense of unity can get where they're going quicker and easier because they're drawing strength from each other.

Fact: When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone, and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.
Lesson: Stay in formation with those who are headed where we want to go; be willing to accept their help and give help to others.

Fact: When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies at the point position.
Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. People, like geese, are interdependent on each other.

Fact: Geese look after each other. If one gets sick or wounded, two geese follow it down to protect and feed it until it either recovers or dies.
Lesson: Stand by each other in difficult times as well as in good times.

I am sad for the elderly man that got hit and then did not get immediate attention from those standing nearby. I am sad for those who felt they could not reach out to him and hope that if they ever find themselves in the same situation, that someone, like me, will be there to help them. I do like this ME world we live in and hope it changes. And soon.

The Nursing Shortage: My Concerns, Your Concerns

I do not usually write much about my job as a nurse, but in light that it is an election year and our country is facing a severe nursing shortage, you will have to bear with me for the next few paragraphs. I feel I have to voice my concerns, not only as a nurse, but as a person who is aging and a person who one day might need a nurse in her very old age at her hospital bedside. (Side note: I expect to be a crabby patient).

First of all some unsettling and even frightening statistics: (at least they are for me)

Recent nursing stats from the U.S Dept. of Labor:
* Nationwide working nurses : 2.5 million
* Average age of nurses : 47 years
* Expected nursing shortage nationwide by 2020 : 36%
*116,000 Number of nurses needed immediately at community hospitals and clinics nationwide.
*23% Anticipated job growth in the nursing field over the next decade, making registered nursing the fastest-growing career in the nation.

Most of my peers within my own nursing department are in their 50’s. Most are anticipating retirement within a few years. Some will hang until they are in their 60’s, like me, although I do not see myself at the bedside. Many of them do not either.

There seem to be no solutions coming from Obama, Clinton, or McCain, let alone any politician. In fact, McCain at a primary rally at a NJ hospital openly admitted he had no idea a nursing shortage even existed in our country!! The one politician who has spoken out about health care, Ted Kennedy, is on the receiving end of health care now after being diagnosed with a brain tumor. Perhaps he might help even further upon getting out of the hospital, although he might just be too busy going through cancer treatment. I hope there is not a nursing shortage that day.

One of the problems that does is exist is that we have an over abundance of people wanting to go into nursing, but a very limited amount of nursing programs and nurses willing to teach those students enrolled in programs. Why? Salaries. It all comes back to the dollar. Universities are not willing to pay enough, especially to those who do not have their doctorate to teach. I’m working on my Masters in Nursing Education with the hopes to teach, but sadly my pitiful MSN will not allow me to teach nurses at institutions that offer higher levels of education to nurses. And I have very little desire at this time to pursue my doctorate. It stinks. It makes no sense. (My being allowed to teach, not my wanting to get my doctorate). So I can offer myself to lower educational programs, and will. (For a decent wage, that is).

Until things change and we get our politicians on board, little money is being put back in nursing to ensure its future. So here’s what I am asking you to do. Write your politicians and make sure they are aware there is a nursing shortage and get them on board with helping to put funds back into schools that will “pump out nurses.” One day you are going to wish you had a very well educated and not so tired nurse at your bedside. Trust me.

Sorry for the length of the blog. It could have been even longer! This is an issue that is very dear to me. The video helps to explain the issue....

I Miss Germany...A Lot!

One of the things (and there are so many) that I miss about living in Germany, especially this time of year, were our (almost daily) trips to Luisen Park. This park was in the center of Mannheim, and covered a huge amount of space (101 acres to be exact). The park contained so much for us to do, that we could never fit it all in one day, although we did try! There were all the typical things one would find in a park, which included the trees (many varieties), flowers and shrubs, and dozens of walkways to stroll.

Of course, what would a park be without playground equipment to entertain the little ones? And this park had a diverse selection to choose from, no matter your age or what you felt like doing on any day. There were typical slides and swings, to castles whose walls you could scale to save the damsel in distress. And heights were not a concern for the Germans. However, I had a problem watching my two year old climb at least 25 feet in the air. But he did it, and quite well. They both did. There were dry playgrounds and those that had enough water to keep you wet and happy on the hottest of days! (And bathing suits were not required for those under 5). My kids would hear we were going to the park and would strip down to bare skin within seconds flat!

There was also all kinds of wild life which included the following: birds, turtles, fish, alligators (yes those too), and even an area that housed farm animals. The kids had it all. And of course, what is a park without food? So we could dine on bratwurst and follow it with ice cream. And if you got tired and wanted to just sit, you could do so in small boats that pulled you around the interior of the park, so you could watch wild life in its natural habitat. I prefered watching the Germans in their natural habitat. =)

Every June, the park would have its celebration of the beginning of summer by hosting its “Sommer Nacht Festival.” There would be tons of food, bands, vendors selling their wares, and the night would end with an incredible display of fireworks; nothing I have yet to find here in America that even compares (except maybe the ones in NYC on the 4th of July). I miss this extravagant kick off to summer. I miss strolling the park and watching the kids play for hours with their German peers. I miss Germany. I miss the simpler times.

Hemingway's Paris, My Paris

"If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast." ~ Ernest Hemingway

I have just completed reading “A Movable Feast” by Ernest Hemingway. He is one of the authors I have come to love over the years, and have even read several of his books more than once. I recently took the time to read this book for the first time, and I was immediately transported back to my vacation in Paris in the spring of 1985.

A dear friend of mine, Sandy, came to visit us when we lived abroad. She had been traveling through the various European countries and enticed me to visit France with her. I had two small babies, and at first decided my place was at home with them, but Jim surprised me with a Mother’s Day card filled with French Francs so off we went!

We took the midnight train from Mannheim, Germany and arrived in Paris in the early morning. The next several days were spent exploring the highlights of Paris. I have to say this was one of the many trips I took in Europe where my gastronomic curiosities began. This is where I learned about turtle soup and snails, with much coaxing from my friend, but enjoyed each delicious bite. From eating in the outdoor cafes, to long walks through the Louvre (seeing the Mona Lisa), the nightlife of Paris “City of Lights” (seeing the Folies Bergere), and absorbing the local culture, I loved each and every minute of Paris, and can fully understand Hemingway’s love of it.

Past and present merge and I realize that what this book really represents for me now is an atmosphere, an attitude, a youthful feeling about Paris, about the possibilities of life, and a very dear friendship. For here is Hemingway, in the autumn of his own career, writing about the spring. How ironic. His descriptions of Paris match my memories of a wonderful time.

We all have our own Paris. It may not be thought of as geographical geographical; it's the place where life first came vividly to bloom for you, where you walked out the door and fell in love, where you couldn't believe the exquisite beauty of the buildings, or even having the chance to share a great time with a friend, whose friendship has lasted a lifetime, long after our trip to Paris in the spring of our lives. I will always have Paris. I cherish my friend and her friendship. And I am truly thankful, for both.

My First Front Porch

Going through old pictures (again) this am, I stumbled upon a photo of the house I grew up in Allenhurst, New Jersey, which my siblings and I refer to as “404” (the address). When I look at this house, I am overwhelmed with many fond memories. Of course, there are those that are not so warm and fuzzy (memories), but nevertheless, they are a part of my life.

There are those who say the “house” is merely a shell, and what makes the shell a “home” are those who live inside. I believe this as well, however, our “shell” had an extension in the form of a wrap around porch, and that’s where many of the great memories I have were formed.

The porch was huge (I’m not the best at math or configurations, but if I had to guess, I would say it gave us a HUGE amount of living space). Our parents collected most of the porch furniture from garage sales, and after cleaning it up and adding new paint, we had just about brand new stuff. It was old, mostly wicker, but it all added “charm” to the porch. And most was very comfy. And there was always room for one more. Always.

The bulk of the porch faced the lake we grew up on (yet more tales I could share) so the summer breezes that rolled off the lake added to our comfort, especially during the heat of the summer. We hosted many parties on this porch, including my sister Sue’s wedding (quite honestly one of the most relaxed and fun weddings I have ever attended).

This porch seemed to draw people to it like a magnet. Whether it was family, friends, the neighbors, or the cop on duty that day (my dad was also a cop so it was not uncommon for that person on duty to drop by to say hello), there was always something going on. We also had many meals out there, and food always seemed to taste better out there. Even a cold bowl of cereal was fun.

Watching a summer storm from this old porch was even fun. We felt safe there, like no harm could ever reach us (as if the rails of the porch wrapped themselves around us, protecting us).

They say a house has character and that character is an extension of its owners. I think that is true. My parents always extended open arms to those who came to sit on that porch. As inviting as that porch was, so were my parents to those who came to sit and visit with us.

I can remember vividly the tinkling sounds of my mom’s wind chimes that were scattered around the porch frame. I can still see the American flag blowing in the breeze. I can hear the laughter of the occupants. I can smell the fragrance of summer. I remember the love that enveloped that house like the porch, whose wrap around structure was more than a piece of shell. I miss that porch.

National Cancer Survivors Day

On June 1, 2008, over 12 million American cancer survivors, and those who have supported them, will be honored, when our country takes the day to celebrate National Cancer Survivors Day. Here at home, we will celebrate Jim’s getting through his diagnosis and subsequent treatment of thyroid cancer. He is a survivor. And we are thankful to those who helped him get through those times, whether it was through prayer, treatments, or simply kind words of encouragement.

I have written periodically in my blog how much I ‘hate’ cancer. My life has been touched throughout the years by many who have been diagnosed with cancer; both survivors and those who have eventually succumbed to it. Family, friends, and patients.

In the early years of my nursing career, I spent time working on an oncology unit where I met many wonderful patients, many who I still remember today. As a young nurse, this was not an easy floor to work on, and not merely because of the workload, but as a young nurse you have the drive and motivation to ensure all your patients lived. But sadly, many did not and that was a hard reality lesson for me. Many of those patients taught me things about myself that I have taken with me throughout my life, both personally and professionally.

It’s been written that “conventional medicine identifies survivors as those who are in long-term recovery when, in fact, from the moment of diagnosis, everyone touched by cancer is in survival mode. This is true not only of patients, but also their caregivers, family members, and loved ones.” I agree completely.

I have long been a supported of two cancer organizations; the American Cancer Society and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (specifically the NJ Chapter). I do what I can, when I can, so that when and if my family and friends are diagnosed, I know I have already helped to make a difference. And when and if I might be diagnosed, I know I have already begun the fight. Help make a difference. Help celebrate those who have survived or those who are just starting the survival of their life.

Remembering: Memorial Day

I am a firm believer that many Americans have long forgotten the real meaning behind Memorial Day. Many think it’s a day to honor and memorialize all of the dead and not those who fell protecting our country. Sacrifice. Even the tradition behind the day has fallen to the wayside. Graves are left unattended and not marked for the day. Even towns that had parades and small graveside celebrations have dwindled. “Costs.”

I try my best to remember those who should be thought of on this day, starting with my own family members. I have a long list of relatives who fought the “War to end all wars,” WWII, and the Korean War. My dad, my uncle, and Jim’s dad dedicated a part of their lives to the military service, both incidentally the US Navy. Their graves have small American flags placed to signify their service to our country.

I even know a person who died during the Vietnam War. I was in third grade and my Sunday school teacher Mrs. Brower received notification during our Sunday school time. I remember feeling frightened, and then worried about her. Her son Donald was a gifted kid who went off to war never return again. I think of him every Memorial Day. I may know more who died during this time, but he is the only one who left such an impact on me.

My flag is out, and flying in the breeze. I buy a poppy every year. I give to Veterans when I can. I like living in America. It’s honor for me to have known those who served to protect us, and ultimately sacrifice themselves for me. For all of us. For America.

And so Summer at the Jersey Shore Begins...

OY Vey! The summer season at the New Jersey shore is now officially open for business, which means the "bennies" have arrived! The traffic gets thicker and the area more congested with summer tourists. Oh sure they do bring in extra cash, but…

Despite the extra annoyances living at the shore during the summer bring, I wouldn’t like, nor can I imagine living anywhere else during the summer months. I like that I can drive a few minutes and get to the beach and the boardwalk. Okay, maybe not “minutes” during the summer, but I can get there faster than someone living near Trenton or North Jersey!

I like that I can go from the beach to the local grocery store all damp and sandy and no one notices me. I blend right in. Unlike the beanies who stand out on any given day. (see picture) Being a local, I know all the quiets spots yet undiscovered by the "bennies." So when I want time alone on the beach without the entire hubbub they bring, I head to my secret place and pray that it is never discovered. Or I avoid the whole traffic mess and stay at home on my deck, which has not yet been discovered by any group of tourists! Yet.

So the summer at the shore, which is not like the official start of the season of summer, has begun, but so has the count down until the "bennies" go home again, and the peace and quiet of the New Jersey shore can be seen and heard again, without the noise of traffic congestion.

From the Urban Dictionary (http://www.urbandictionary.com/) the definition of “bennies” is as follows:

“The stupid tourists from up north, they increase traffic, pollute the beach (they say it is the locals fault), and all round cause havoc.”

The Roaring 20's

Once upon there was a girl who lived a simple life. She lived during the time of the “flappers” which was a period of time that redefined modern women. Flappers were defined as a new breed of young women who wore short skirts, bobbed their hair, listened to the new Jazz music, and flaunted their disdain for what was then considered acceptable behavior. The flappers were seen as brash for wearing excessive makeup, drinking, treating sex in a casual manner, smoking, driving automobiles, and otherwise flouting conventional social and sexual norms. And as you can see from her picture, she was a lovely flapper type, and knowing my grandmother she no doubt helped to define that period of time quite well.

But I love the idea that women took a positive stand in our country. The right to vote became a reality and women pushed themselves into working roles in their society. Young women especially, began staking claim to their own bodies and took part in a sexual liberation of their generation. The 20s gave birth to the ‘feminine mystique’. With this formulation, all women wanted to marry, all good women stayed at home with their children, cooking and cleaning, and the best women did the aforementioned and in addition, exercised their purchasing power freely and as frequently as possible in order to better their families and their homes. I like the idea that my grandmother’s generation took a stand for all women, helping us to be seen and heard.

I love the idea of being a flapper, but I love the sound of Jazz even more. I can easily see myself sitting in a jazz cafe, waiting to be asked to do the fox trot or the Charleston. Men wore dashing pinstriped suits and had a cool air about them. And of course, there were the downsides to the 20’s; drinking, gangsters, the rise of communism, and the beginnings of the KKK.

If there were one period of time I could visit, it would be this era. I’d like the chance to hang with my grandmother as she danced her way through the 20’s and the opportunity discuss with her how she felt about women’s rights, and in general what was going on in the world. If only.

Migo the Library Dog

This week, Migo, our youngest Golden will take his Therapy Dog exam. I believe he is ready. It has been a long 8 weeks of training, but worth every second, especially when you see how people respond to dogs. Medical research shows that animal therapy promotes shorter hospital stays, decreases blood pressure, and dramatically improves sense of well being. In most cases, patients excitedly anticipate their furry friends' visits; thus giving children, adults and the elderly even more reason to feel happier, healthier and more alert.

I have always been a believer in the power of animals to help heal our spirits, and in some cases, the human body. The stories are never ending; enhancing the quality of life through the human-animal bond. I know on a personal level how my dogs make a difference in my own life. As a natural stress reducer, animal therapy is an excellent method of incidental physiotherapy.

So Migo will join his sister Madison, our other Golden, at the local library to provide a service in which children will read to them. I love this program and love sharing my dogs with the local children. The kids respond favorably to the dogs and that’s what pet therapy is all about. I’m glad I am a part of something so positive.

Patience

We have had a really slow start to warmer weather in my area. At times it has been frustrating, especially for those of us who want to feel the heat radiate down to our bones, that have been cold and hurting over the long cold winter months. And for some of us, we simply want to sit and relax as the sun warms and begins the process of browning our faces.

We have had an abundance of spring rain, which while it has helped the process of helping the grass begin its new growth, has been somewhat annoying as it has kept us indoors; a place we want to break free from after a long winter. But the upside of all of this has been that plants have been slow to bloom fully and after doing so, have kept them longer. So we have been able to enjoy the colors and smell of spring a wee bit longer. Perhaps this is one more way Mother Nature encourages us to slow down?

It’s not a bad thing, and although I especially yearn for summer days, it might be best that I take each season a bit slower. So it is with this in mind that I will appreciate spring more and wait patiently for the heat of summer days. There’s no need to rush.

Caitlin: Home at Last!

My girl is home, safe and sound and she is as happy as we are, now that she is home. I cannot express how good it is to have her here. I like sharing that morning cup of Jo with her, and look forward to our shopping trips and days at the beach together.

She is unpacked and settled in, and life goes on.

=) =) =)

Pass the Popcorn

Most people, if not all, have their favorite movies. I’m not an exception. I have several that I adore and could easily watch over and over again without getting bored. Being a ‘chick’ I do love many of the sappy ‘chick flicks’ and never tire of them either. I love the classics, as well as the new stuff. I do not like sci-fi films. Never had, never will.

My all time favorites are as follows and are listed in no particular order of preferred films:

Gone with the Wind: Ok, I know this is a popular among many, but who doesn’t love that heat between Scarlett and Rhett?
Dr. Zhivago: The story involves General Yevgraf Zhivago searching for the love child of his brother, poet and doctor Yuri Zhivago, and his mistress Larissa ("Lara") Antipova. Who isn’t a fan of Omar Shariff?
The Thin Man (all of them!): I love the zaniness that goes on between William Powell and Myrna Loy!
Jeopardy: Barbara Stanwyck stars in this “taut thiller which takes woman-in-distress concept to one of the most frenzied extremes."
Ever After: Who doesn’t love that Cinderella gets her prince?
Practical Magic: I love Aidan Quinn! He’s magical!
The Bourne Series: I admit it. I have a ‘thing’ for Matt Damon.

The list goes on...

The point here is that we all have those favorite movies, classics or current, that we love to cuddle up to, especially on dark, gloomy rainy days. And when we have someone special to watch with, it is all the better. Pass the popcorn.

Dear Mom and Dad (and siblings)...

During the time period I lived in Germany, I sent many letters home to my family (and friends, of course). My letters were filled with so many things; most, simple tales of what we were doing at the time. The letters detailed what we did over the span of our five years in living, working, and traveling overseas.

Many of the envelopes sent home were also filled with small pieces of artwork done by Caitlin and Daniel for my parents and siblings. At the time, what I thought were simple letters home, now have become important keepsakes. I had no idea at the time, my parents was saving each letter. Each letter, each piece of artwork served as a link to me, Jim, and their two grandchildren.

When I returned home from Germany, my mom handed me the large box in which each letter was placed after she had read them over and over again. I placed each letter and much of the artwork in large binders, according to the date sent home (would I do it any differently, being the overly organized person I am?). Periodically, I read through the binders and relive not only what we were doing at the time, but my journaling (I was blogging before blogging was hip) of how I was dealing with being so far from home. My simple correspondence home has become a rich account of so many emotions I dealt with away from my family.

My letters are also filled with my humorous accounts of working with the military and all the antics that went on in the army clinic where I work, learned, and made life long friendships. They are filled with colorful descriptions of all the places we visited throughout Europe (Frommers has nothing on me). As my memory fades of that time period, I know that I have my letters to go through, taking me back to an incredible life experience, and I have my mom to thank for saving those valuable letters.

Happy Mother's Day!

It is with today’s blog that I honor my mom who has, over time, been at the very heart and soul of our family. There are so many words that describe my mom; courage, strength, patience, selfless, faith, love...the list is endless (and, yes, even annoying at times).

She grew up in small family, which included one younger brother, her dad (a mason) and her mom (predominately an executive secretary). She had the typical childhood, growing up during the depression, and working her summers at the shore as a lifeguard. She graduated high school and became a beautician. During this time period, she met my dad, married and eventually began her family (a total of five children). To say her life was easy would be wrong. She worked hard raising the five of us, and battled most of her married life with a man who never really fully appreciated her worth. Thus her strength, patience, faith, and the ability to laugh when times get tough. To say she came through the tough times like a war time hero would be right. Her kids are her strength. And I am quite sure we taught her patience too.

My mom is now 72 and she lives a quiet life with one of my brothers. She loves being “out on the farm” and loves her church and church family. She is a very devout Christian and appreciates what she has, and when possible shares what little she does have with others who need it more than she does. I am proud of my mom. I try to honor her each and every day I live my life by being the person she raised me to be. This, I believe, is the best possible way any of us could honor our mothers.

"The future destiny of the child is always the work of the mother." – Napoleon Bonaparte

"All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." – Abraham Lincoln

A Calendar Girl

Besides having all the usual jobs I have listed on this blog, I also serve as the traffic cop here at home. I am in charge of ensuring (for the most part) where people need to be, and when and where on a daily basis (not jobs, thankfully they know that). I do this with the aide of a very active calendar and a very somewhat organized mind (yes even at my age). The key to being organized (at least for me) is my calendar. Without it, I’m lost. Without, there would be many appointments forgotten. (And I am not the only one)

I started years ago using a simple wall calendar, but after time, those little boxes never seemed big enough. It’s hard to cram four people’s whereabouts into tiny blocks. Then I graduated to carrying around a calendar book, and that worked well, but after a while I found that I would forget my book, and this is not so good when the orthodontist wants to book your kids life six months ahead. So, then I added a smaller purse size calendar book, and would carry that back and forth, adding and deleting to the larger book at home (You begin to see a potential problem here, don’t you) This went on for some time.

After a few years, I then graduated to a huge desk calendar (the kind my first grade teacher used with the very BIG blocks) and found while I could be very organized, it did take up a lot of counter space in the kitchen. BUT I do admit of all the calendars I have ever used, this was the best method. I also continued with the purse calendar just to be sure I had everything recorded.

Then (thanks to my sister Gidget) I discovered the Outlook calendar which nicely records each entry and then subsequently spits out a copy for my wall, and purse at the touch of a button. THIS was the ticket. It worked for about a week, and then I found I had to have something with bigger blocks. So as of today I have not one, not two, but three working calendars in progress. One in Outlook (on the PC), one in my purse, and lastly one on the counter in the kitchen (just in case someone calls me and I cannot reach my purse or my laptop). I’m covered. I’m organized. I’m me.

The Perfect Role Model

A very good friend of mine recently found herself in the media spotlight after being denied ‘light duty’ in her role as a police officer secondary to her high risk pregnancy. The attention it got was country wide; with various groups getting involved to make certain she was provided the safest job to ensure her and her baby’s safety. What is unfortunate is that there was not a policy in place to prevent the major mess that occurred, which ultimately brought so much attention to my friend, and the town in which she serves as a police officer.

What I found so horrible, and sad, were the comments by so many that women do not belong in police positions. Why do we as a society still have so many backward thoughts to roles woman can perform in regards to occupations? Certainly our military has proven that women not only do well, but excel in various positions against their male counterparts. Studies by the military have shown that, with training, most women's strength can be greatly increased, permitting them to perform the heaviest tasks required. So why do many (and not just men) still have the mentality that women are not strong enough, big enough, or even smart enough to become valuable members of police forces? It makes no sense to me.

Thankfully, my very dear friend was provided a position within her police department which allows her to remain on the payroll, and stay safe (her baby too). And I would like to mention that throughout this very nationally-made-public-ordeal, she maintained professionalism and told me that her male counterparts (her Chief excluded) rallied around her to show support. Perhaps this mentality should spill out to others who feel women have no place working in male dominant roles. Kudos to you Sonia. YOU are a hero to many (myself included) and a wonderful role model to other women.

Happy Nurse's Day!

To my readers who are nurses, Happy Nurse's Day to you!

The Florence Nightingale Pledge

I solemnly pledge myself before God and in the presence of this assembly, to pass my life in purity and to practice my profession faithfully. I will abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous, and will not take or knowingly administer any harmful drug. I will do all in my power to maintain and elevate the standard of my profession, and will hold in confidence all personal matters committed to my keeping and all family affairs coming to my knowledge in the practice of my calling. With loyalty will I endeavor to aid the physician, in his work, and devote myself to the welfare of those committed to my care.

Swinging the Day Away

Luke, our five-year-old Golden, loves to swing on our porch swing. He always has. In fact, so much so, that when the swing is up and it’s a beautiful day, he goes over to it, and through his cries, lets us know he wants up. Of course, when he is done, he cries to get help to get down off of the swing. He’s usually good for a few hours. But what better place is there to take your morning nap?

Of all our dogs, Luke has the most laid back personality. In fact, it’s been said that even when he moves forward, he is in reverse. He hardly barks, never causes much trouble around here, has a gentle soul, and the sweetest disposition. He was known to move bushes around when he was younger, but has since out grown that hobby (thankfully).

Now that summer is here, his days are spent swinging life away. We could all stand to have a few days like that. I know I could. Take time to spend and hour or two on your porch swing...or some place where you can rest, and think.

"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive." ~ Gilda Radner

Classical Music Appreciation 101

I enjoy listening to classical music. It’s something I have always enjoyed, but the older I have gotten, the more I appreciate each piece for its compilation. There’s a certain art to really ‘listening’ to these musical art forms. Many people find it boring, but I think once one has the ability to really understand classical music over the more popular forms of music, one can then appreciate it more. I think the difference between popular music and classical music can basically be summed up as the difference between magazines and works of literature.

I have my favorite works such as Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, Opus # 8, Strauss’s Blue Danube, Opus # 314, and Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Opus # 71. I love so many, but these are among my favorites. I used to play the music for background noise. Yes, I said noise, but after beginning to look for new pieces, and really listening, I found that the best way to enjoy classical music is to just sit and listen to it. Focus, but not too hard.

When Daniel took his Music Appreciation class, he and I went too see the NJ Symphony. He had to dissect each piece, and in doing so, we found it was not so easy to enjoy the piece. The assignment led us to believe that in order to enjoy each piece, you simply had to really listen, and understand why the composer wrote what he did, and what message he wanted to send to the audience.

I believe that understanding and appreciating music is a hard thing to define. What does “understanding/appreciating classical music” really mean? There are two ways to look at interpreting the classics. The first is identifying that the classical music world has an abundance of terms associated with it, such as melody, rhythm, harmony, and so on. It’s the technical side of the music. The second important aspect of classical music is being able to understand the emotions and characteristics each piece reveals to the listener. There should be some connection between you and each piece. How does it make you feel? Sad, happy. I believe, this link, between you and the classical piece, is what makes listening to it more pleasurable. Find that link, and really connect to the classics. It’s well worth your time.

The UPs and DOWNs of My iPod

Technological gadgets. Who doesn’t like them? We can do almost anything, anywhere, and at anytime, thanks to the advances in our techno world. Like listen to music. And not just any music, but our favorite tunes, and even TV shows, and movies, all with the tiny push of a button. My iPod is my favorite gadget. That is when I can get them damn thing to work. Actually, the iPod is fine; it’s the loading of it that stumps me.

I am currently on my third iPod because I outgrew the first two iPods faster than I could load music on to them. My new one allows me to upload TV shows, movies, podcasts (I have yet to really explore this option), and music (lots of it). The thing is, every time I go to iTunes to download, and then upload things, somehow I get into trouble. I even once deleted the entire library of music, which left me frustrated and feeling the urge to smash my iPod (I didn’t though).

So thankfully Caitlin and Daniel, and yes, even Jim, are patient with me. To a point. I do see the eye rolling and hear the sighs. Then comes the question, “How do you deal with technology on the job?” I am not sure. I guess it s good thing babies download without much help, usually, or there might be problems. And there’s a difference between an iPod and, well, girlie parts. Thankfully.

So when the problems arise, I no longer get frustrated. I bear with the eye rolling and the heavy sighs and ask for help. I know you told me a million times HOW this is done, but I cannot seem to get it. Some times moms need extra help. And I thank you. Again.

Toxin Free Coffee

Who doesn’t enjoy the smell, the sight, the taste, and even the feeling of the heat as your fingers curl around that first morning cup, mug, or even a paper cup of fresh, hot coffee? I know I not only love it, and crave it, but I am addicted to it. Sweet and light!!

I have been a coffee drinker for as long as I can remember. I got really ‘hooked’ on it when I used to work nights. That huge paper cup of coffee courtesy of 7-11 started my shift (something had to jolt me back to life). That first sip was and is like a jolt of electric current used to jump start a battery (in my case, an old battery). The thing is though, until recently, I liked my coffee somewhat sweet and light. I used Sweet and Low© for years and then discovered Splenda© and life was sweeter and less sugary, but I had no idea that I was ingesting something not too safe. (Ok, I will admit that for quite some time Caitlin has warned me about ingesting “toxic chemicals.” But I did not listen to her.)

So, as of this week, I am off that nasty “toxin” and will now only use the real stuff, but in very limited amounts. Initially it was hard to lose the sweet in my coffee, but after a few days of weaning off of it, I can now just add a wee bit of cream and my morning java is perfect. And it should be. After all, it is about the coffee and not the additives (the good ones, and not the bad ones).

Holocaust Rememberance Day

There are a few places I remember visiting very vividly when living abroad, and the Dachau Concentration Camp was one of them. Jim and I visited what remained of the camp on a bleak and rainy day in 1985. I can remember my first reaction as I walked through the gates (like so many millions before me) that read “Arbeit Macht Frei” (work makes you free). I learned about the concentration camps like the rest of us through school, but I remember thinking as I walked around, “Wow, this really happened.” In my head, I knew it had, but the feeling of reality was just so overwhelming.

Many of the pre-existing buildings were gone, but models remained to depict how the people lived there (live is loose term). What I committed to memory were the crematoriums. When we entered the buildings that housed those ovens, I saw tiny candles lit, each one placed by people who had come before us. There was a box of candles provided so that we, too, could light a candle. I remember lighting the candle and setting it among long stem roses that had been left behind as well.

It was at that moment that I found myself feeling the loss of those millions of people that had died during the holocaust. Nothing else the entire day had affected me as strongly as that very moment. I remember feeling overwhelmed. My eyes watered, and I didn’t want to move forward. But we did continue our walk around, taking in all we could. The emotions I felt, we felt, are hard to put into words.

When we had seen the entire camp, we headed back toward the main gate, and as we did, I turned around and walked backwards, soaking in every image that I could before I finally had to leave. I reached the gate and, putting my hand on it, I stopped. And then I did something that millions were unable to do. I walked out of Dachau; I walked out, leaving the camp behind but keeping its memory, along with the memory of those six million murdered human beings, in my heart, never to let myself forget, never to allow something like the Holocaust to ever happen again.

So it is with this in mind that every year on Holocaust Remembrance Day, I remember. I cannot forget. I won’t forget. My candle is lit to remember them. All of them.

Holocaust comes from the Greek to be burnt whole - a sacrifice consumed by fire.

Life In Grenada...4 days left (this semester)

So in four days, Caitlin will be back on US soil, and I am thrilled! It is hard to believe her first semester in Vet school is about to end. She is looking forward to getting home, and can be proud of her first semester accomplishments (We all are!). But of course, being the long range planner she is (and should be), she has found her next place to live upon returning this fall.

She will share her new digs with a "Jersey Girl" who is also in the same program. It's a two bedroom apartment within a two story home. She will have neighbors down stairs. It's cute, totally refurbished, and CLEAN! It comes complete with cable and internet access (the joys of being home). Her landscaping will be done for her (nice). Her home will include a balcony, in which she cannot only have a place to air dry her clothes (no dryers), but a place she can sit and ponder life with Migo. What could be better? (for all of us!)

I love that fact that Cait has become so independent living out of the country. But even more I love that she has a place to call home right here with us. I cannot wait for her to come home!